Having seen most of the bathrooms in Rome and a few in Naples and Herculaneum, here is the rating system

Components to use in judging:

clean

toilet has a seat (believe it or not this is optional, ladies)

door lock

hook on inside of door for coat or purse

toilet paper

dry floor in the stall (unclear why so many are wet. It’s not like women pee on the floor like men do)

functioning hand drier or paper towels (80% of the time hand drier)

soap at the sink

Any or all of these things may be missing from the average Italian public bathroom.

Ratings:

5 stars – bathroom has all of the above characteristics.  These bathrooms are found only at the Vatican and a few other museums.  Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

4 stars – this rating usually applies when the hand-drier is broken and I have to use my shirt as a towel, and/or there’s no hook inside the bathroom for coat and purse

3 stars – hand-drier broken, no hook, and no toilet seat.  So balance in the air, or figure out how to lay toilet paper on the rim and balance there

2 stars – Missing the above plus no door lock, somewhat dirty (wet floor)

1 star – missing the above and no soap at the sink.  This is gross people.  Bathrooms need soap. Often these bathrooms are scary-dirty

0 stars – Missing all of the above and no toilet paper!  Typically also hideously dirty. The one 0-star bathroom I visited was near Eric’s church.  Turns out they were holding the toilet paper ransom behind the pastry counter. Wankers. I hope they get shut down by the Italian Health Department.